Mea Culpa, mea maxima culpa!

          This is only the 12th post since the beginning of March in 2020.  I am embarrassed and concerned.  I do not want to bring the run of "Journey Thoughts" to an end, but I must confess to thinking about doing so.  Countless times my mind begins to formulate thoughts and observations that get no further than my mind.  So I ask myself "Why?" and I have done some soul searching for an answer to the lack of postings.

     I confess to three things taking place in my life.

     First comes the experience of retirement.  For me it has been three years already.  In my experience of retirement things have slowed down considerably and are very different from being a pastor.  Thoughts on the journey of priesthood take a different direction when you are not in a parish setting.  I live in a priests' retirement residence in our Diocese and we have a great little community of thirteen men living here.  We share prayer, meals, movies and socials, and lots of "remembering" the "old days".

     Second is my personal health challenges.  I have not aged gracefully, especially following a fall about five years ago.  My mobility is challenged because of a severe lower back problem, and I get around with the help of a walker.  It has slowed me down tremendously.  Add to this my other ailments, and I am no where near as active as I was a few years ago.  I remember with longing the days of tennis and handball, travelling and getting out, but these are things of the past.  I am not playing the sympathy violin for myself ... just stating the reality of my present experience.

     Third is the state of the world since the beginning of this year because of Covid-19.  Whether you see Covid-19 as a pandemic that is very real with unknown threats or see it as a "conspiracy theory" that is political in nature, there is no denying that it has changed the face of our everyday lives.  Being cut off from "the land of the living", social distancing and avoiding activities that bring us together, especially our most central act of faith which is Eucharist and the Sacramental life, has affected me greatly.  And thus affected my desire to put my thoughts into print.  I apologize for letting this get to me.

     Thus, I confess ... and seek forgiveness.  Those of you old enough to recognize the title of this piece will remember that "Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa" is Latin for "Through my fault, through my most grievous fault!"  I am sorry for being so negligent regarding "Journey Thoughts" and as I contemplate  the direction to take, I pledge to be more faithful to sharing the presence of the Lord in my life.  For in all of this, he is always there ... ever faithful ... and the greatest love of my life.  Never forget that he is that for you, as well.